i dont want to be alive

For years i have been living with depression and anxiety. I dont want to be alive anymore. people dont want me here, i am a terrible person. I live against everything that is who i am. Everyday I think about dying. I picture different ways that i could go out. "accidents" and everything else. I was never a person that anyone wanted. My ex wife left me because i am a loser, i honestly dont think i have ever been loved and i think my father died because of me. I am bi and because of my family and friends have never been able to explore that side of me. Male Female i dont care i just want someone who wants me.